But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
