It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
