ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You have to summon your inner elephant
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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