Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Is it because I queefed?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
