Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
