I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
