i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
