So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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