Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize