Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Are my feet made of real feet?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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