we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
