It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
