I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
