did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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