He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
