Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
