Umm I'm too high to move.
babies were throwing up all over the place
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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