it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
