how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My bed smells like the plague
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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