Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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