fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
