I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
