Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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