if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
