did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I will be naked everywhere
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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