She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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