So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize