come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
