This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
