Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
