We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize