I accidentally burped into my bong.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
