just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
