I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
