wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
