Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
