I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
