That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
