last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This baby is an asshole
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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