dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
