He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
