I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
