I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
