I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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