So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
