i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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