i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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