I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
