something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm like, not good at living.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
