Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
