I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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