Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
