:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
