Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
