Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
