just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
