CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
