in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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