I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
