remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
