we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
