come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
